Thanksgiving

This was my first Thanksgiving with my mom's family in four years and it was my first Thanksgiving in my own country in three years. Three years ago I was in Denver with my Dad's family and he was kind enough to make me a veggie lasagna. My dad has been very supportive and accommodating of my veg*nism which is cool, but I guess it doesn't exactly make up for his absence from my life growing up.

For the past two Thanksgivings I was in China--a "tiny" town in the second poorest province in the country and I can't remember what I did the first year because my ex-hubby was all about refusing to celebrate ANY holidays for ANY reason. (He is a kook!) And last year the man I fell in love with took me out for a delicious hotpot dinner feast. He insisted on taking me out on this special holiday of my culture. What a dear! I had a vegetarian hotpot and the restaurant insisted on giving him his own meat pot--I was not happy about that, but what can I do when I can't speak the language?

This year I sat around the dinner table with my family--Mom, bro, sis, gramps, gram, uncle, auntie, and Tony (mom's fiance). I was worried to be hassled by the fam. But a few days before things came to a head between me and mom concerning my vegetarianism.

She doesn't get it and she doesn't want to--and that's fine, but it does hurt a bit to not be understood by your own mom. At least she's not closed-minded about things more severe like religion or sexuality. I think it's just a really big inconvenience for her and she is the old dog who is not willing to learn new tricks like cooking for me. I'm okay with cooking for myself, but I can't handle being made fun of at every mealtime. I'm a very sensitive person and while I have gotten less touchy--I do have a limit. My mom's fiance likes to razz me about my dietary habits and I know he's just messing around, but then my whole family gets on on the joke--mom, sis, bro--and i snapped.

I've been learning to deal with my emotions in a healthier way lately and I decided to voice my frustration instead of keeping it bottled up as I used to do. So I said--after being told that my vegetarian sloopy joe looked and smelled like dog barf--that I don't appreciate these kind of comments about my food and don't like being made fun of at every meal and would like a little more respect.

Well, it was not what my mom was ready to hear. She has been under a lot of stress as a real estate agent in a failing market and Tony has been unemployed for months and so many things are always going wrong and there is no money and my brother has major problems and so on and so on. So Mom didn't take my comments very well. She took them as a personal affront to her position as Mom. She exploded at me and told me lots of things she later apologized for. I think it's hard with me coming back from China after being out of the house for three years and depending on her again with all these changes like my veg*nism and she's pissed at my ex-hubby who was also a veg and she blames him for so much and hates him so much--as do I. But she doesn't understand that I won't take revenge legally because I don't want to go through the same shit that she has gone through with her ex's. It's better to just get the divorce over and him out of my life asap regardless of what he did to me. No amount of money or trouble is worth the revenge. I just want him out of my life forever and that will be done in just a few more weeks leading to the final decree.

So--lots going on which brings me to my point about Thanksgiving. No one in my family said a word about my diet on that day. Maybe Mom said something to everyone to lay off any derogatory comments and it worked! I was pretty shocked and impressed because my family is not known for keeping their mouths shut. And they are rabid meat eaters. In the past my grandma has tried to tell me that eating meat cures cancer--BS!!

Anyway, I was happy to enjoy a traditional meal of cranberry sauce and green beans while the rest of my family ate dead bird carcass without being mocked. It was nice.